The world's worst pick up lines

[opethmike]

Come up with the worst pick up line you can, and post it here. Here's my contribution:

Hey there, I lost my number - can I have yours?

[timothymoore]

did it hurt.....when you fell from heaven?


Is that a mirror in your pocket? because i see myself in your pants!

[sean]

I own a DeLorean.

[Canon20DFan]

Don't leave me, I need someone to help me pay for my Delorean...

[nofear365]

Is your father a terrorist? Because you're the BOMB!

[Jacko]

You don't sweat much for a fat girl ... :hippo:

[Michael]

You look finer than a set of new snow tires.

[DeLorean03]

I own a DeLorean.

awesome xD

[Ryan]

How much does a polar bear weigh?

Enough to break the ice, nice to meet you.

[Farrar]

"Hi, I'm Farrar Hudkins."

Farrar

[sdg3205]

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put 'U' and 'I' together.

[Roman Legion]

"Hi, I'm Farrar Hudkins."

Farrar

BAH!! I was about to post the same thing.. But with my name! I will use your's, maybe I will have more luck.. :tongue:

[Citizen]

You guys are all nuts!

Had a good laugh here, reading these...

[Bruce Johnson]

"What's your sign?" (I used it once in the 80's...to no avail)

Bruce

[Karin]

This is your density...err, I mean destiny.

[qwerk]

I'd like to exchange fluids, but I don't know how.


...no, really, do you have experience with Volvos, by chance?

[Canon20DFan]

I know Michael Lund...

[Ryan]

This is your density...err, I mean destiny.

:bigclap:

[Jonathan]

All you ever need to know about picking up women you can learn from one Mr. Will Hunting.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4PiVMasO6s

My boy is wiiiicked smaaart!!! ...How do ya like them apples??!!

[Dracula]

Don't forget these old classics:

"You dropped something; my jaw."

"That dress looks good on you. It'd look better on my floor."

[tyb323]

I know Michael Lund...

This one has actually worked for me on many occasions. Everyone loves a Swede

[opethmike]

This one has actually worked for me on many occasions. Everyone loves a Swede

You guys are bastards :devil::devil::devil:

[Renee_1632]

We had this contest in Afghan. The winner:

"Get in the truck"

Runners up:
"See this watch? It knows everything. *looks at watch* It says you're not wearing underwear! Oh, sorry, it's an hour fast"

"Do you wash your pants with windex? Because I can see myself in them"

[jmrydholm]

Me proposing to my then g/f last Christmas- "So uh...you wanna get married or something?" LOL

I facepalm every time I think of that. (She said yes, though!) :biggrin:

[Sidaries]

You are even more beautiful, than a new tractor.

[Canon20DFan]

All three are the winners (from me, an old guy). I'm going to try the "watch" one on the wife...


We had this contest in Afghan. The winner:

"Get in the truck"

Runners up:
"See this watch? It knows everything. *looks at watch* It says you're not wearing underwear! Oh, sorry, it's an hour fast"

"Do you wash your pants with windex? Because I can see myself in them"

[Canon20DFan]

That one clearly has a regional appeal. Coastal areas will use "boat", mountainous areas will use "Jeep".

You are even more beautiful, than a new tractor.

[nullset]

Nice shoes. Wanna f#@!?

[Farrar]

"I'm a classical music announcer at the local public radio station."

At that point you're just tightening the chastity belt.

Farrar

[Dracula]

I've found "Hello" to be pretty bad, too.

[yellowmxwheels23]

Guy: Hey, wanna go get a pizza and F&%K?
Girl: Uh no.
Guy: No? What do you have against pizza?

[Cory W]

"Do I make you horny, baby?"

"You're so hot I just jizzed in my pants!"

"F#%k me if I'm wrong, but isn't the sky green?"

"Baby, I just made it your lucky day"

"You're hot. Got a sister?"

"I believe they pronounce it 'Manage a trois'..."

"I reckon you're about an 8 or a 9...maybe even 9 and a half in four beers time"

[qwerk]

"Do I make you horny, baby?"

"You're so hot I just jizzed in my pants!"

"F#%k me if I'm wrong, but isn't the sky green?"

"Baby, I just made it your lucky day"

"You're hot. Got a sister?"

"I believe they pronounce it 'Manage a trois'..."

"I reckon you're about an 8 or a 9...maybe even 9 and a half in four beers time"

Woah, woah, slow down, I can't write that fast...

[dvonk]

"You're so hot I just jizzed in my pants!"

haha, reminded me of this video:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY

[jmrydholm]

"Uhhh....hey baby! Uhhuhuhuhuh! I'm like, pretty tall!" -Butthead, Beavis and Butthead Do America

http://hypervocal.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Heh-heh-Beavis-and-Butt-head-are-back_header_image.jpg

[Dangermouse]

Hi, my name is Ed Bernstein

[Karin]

"I wouldn't have thought so either but here we are."

[08087]

#1) Girl jogging in park, I run up to her and say, "why don't we find something better to use this heavy breathing on".

#2) I bet you dinner if I asked you out for lunch you'd say no!

#3) What's your sign works as long as you can back it up with some good astrology stuff! everyone wants to hear about themselves.

[Kukem]

I have heard this one about the "What's your sign?"

Guy says: Hey, Baby, what's your sign?
Girl: Gives him that "Whatere" look.
Guy replies: Well, mine's Sagittarius and I'm all horse from the waist down.

He actually got her phone number cause she thought he was pretty funny!

[Dangermouse]

You must be from Mars cos your ass is out of this world

[Kenny_Z]

Ones I have personally used on three separate girls:

Me: "Would you like to go*walk into a locked door you thought was open* Rebounding off and falling to the floor is optional.
Her: "..." *walks away*
Me: "Ouch"

----------------------

Me: "Would you like to go out sometime?"
Her: "I was afraid you were going to say that."
Me: "Ouch..."

----------------------

Me: "Would you like to go out sometime?"
She begins laughing...a lot.
Me: "Ouch."

----------------------

All things considered, I preferred the door incident.

[Roman Legion]

I have an entire book of failures and this chapter is long, here are a few..

Me: You wouldn't be interested in going to the prom with me, would you?
Her: Maybe *Turns around and walks away*
Me: *Standing there in confusion after she walked away..* "What the F**k just happened?

--------

Me: Would you like to go out sometime?
Her: Ewww *walks away*
Me: (Lets not say this here ;) )

--------

Me: I don't suppose you would like to go out sometime, would you?
Her: You're not my type..
Me: Well, what is your type?
Her: Not you..

--------

*The time I tried a different approach*

Me: I know this is a bit direct, but would you like to go out this weekend?
Her: I'm sorry, I have plans..
Me: Alright, I entirely understand.. How about next weekend?
Her: No, that won't work either..
Me: Okay, when is a good time for you, my schedule is always open..
Her: Bye.. *walked away*

--------------

*Rant? warning*

On what I can guess is a positive note, I have only been laughed at a few times.. Suprised myself that I haven't been laughed at more. I could not even pick up girls in my Mustang.. It was shiny and everything! (As always, due to being a bit OCD) I guess women hate the Nerdy grunge guys or something? I have officially stopped looking as I am grew tired of trying when I knew the result. I don't wear trendy clothes, I just wear what I have or what is cheap.. "I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may." - Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

[kajcienski]

More of a personal observation: I soon realized after buying my DeLorean that I had just bought a giant "dude magnet" (of course I still LOVE my car...). However when a girl is into it, they seem to be REALLY into it so that's good news... I might borrow a friend's puppy and try to combine the two. Deadly combo? Wait, I'm engaged.

[Ralph]

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"





-I'm sorry, I swear I've never used this one.

[Dracula]

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"





-I'm sorry, I swear I've never used this one.

That reminds me of another one:

"I got a bed in my basement fit for two. I got some chloroform and handcuffs; just for you."

[Kenny_Z]

Girls seem to love my Mustang but the problem is they love "only" the Mustang. They want to see the car, sit in the car, drive the car (hell no), or sit on the car (also hell no). But that is the extent of it.

The girl that said "I was afraid you were going to say that." had just earlier that day said that she loved the smell of old classic cars while she was sitting in the car.

I think that's why I decided to buy so many cars. They are cheaper than females, even the Delorean is a bargain compared to what a relationship costs. Plus I can have as many cars as I want in my driveway without them getting jealous or slapping me ;)

[Dracula]

Girls seem to love my Mustang but the problem is they love "only" the Mustang. They want to see the car, sit in the car, drive the car (hell no), or sit on the car (also hell no). But that is the extent of it.

The girl that said "I was afraid you were going to say that." had just earlier that day said that she loved the smell of old classic cars while she was sitting in the car.

I think that's why I decided to buy so many cars. They are cheaper than females, even the Delorean is a bargain compared to what a relationship costs. Plus I can have as many cars as I want in my driveway without them getting jealous or slapping me ;)

You've figured out my secret: give up on relationships and buy cars. I can afford 9 cars (1977 Chrysler New Yorker not listed in my signature) instead of ONE woman; much less nine.

[Canon20DFan]

:histerical1:

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

[Timeless]

You've figured out my secret: give up on relationships and buy cars. I can afford 9 cars (1977 Chrysler New Yorker not listed in my signature) instead of ONE woman; much less nine.
Exactly!

[anywhen]

What your zodiac is?