Car show single page brochure DRAFT V1

[nkemp]

At car shows, and other times, it would be nice to have a brochure that summarizes the DeLorean & its history. As such I took a stab at creating one that is easily printed on a laser. My goal was to keep it to one page so that the back side (blank) can be used for your own use such as local club & event info. Also, the brochure can be folded into fourths and the grid forms the top cover.

Attached is version 1 of the brochure. Let me know your thoughts. (Hopefully it does not step on any anyone's copyright rights.) Be forewarned...Adding as much as a single letter will push it to another page.... Seriously...I'm not kidding.

Nick

21702

[NightFlyer]

At car shows, and other times, it would be nice to have a brochure that summarizes the DeLorean & its history. As such I took a stab at creating one that is easily printed on a laser. My goal was to keep it to one page so that the back side (blank) can be used for your own use such as local club & event info. Also, the brochure can be folded into fourths and the grid forms the top cover.

Attached is version 1 of the brochure. Let me know your thoughts. (Hopefully it does not step on any anyone's copyright rights.) Be forewarned...Adding as much as a single letter will push it to another page.... Seriously...I'm not kidding.

Nick

21702

A couple points of correction:

-2.85L or 2,849 cc - not 2.85cc (I know it's a fairly weak engine and all, but she's got a little more than 2.85cc's in her :thumbup2:)

-"DeLorean avoided paying the money by lying, stating that the Irish Republican Army (IRA) controlled the money to pay fees to due the British government." This sentence needs to be fixed, as written, it sounds like DeLorean paid the IRA to perform a hit on the British government.

Otherwise, looks pretty nice to me :approve:

[Dangermouse]

Like the layout.

Personally I find it a bit heavy on the Drug Trial issue but that's maybe what you get questioned on regularly. We would all do one differently.

Why is "Renault" underlined?

Suggestion - shorten the drug part by a sentence and add a line about the car's cost in 1981 and the equivalent number in 2013 dollars. Gives people a point of reference.

[JohnZ]

I think you can underline Peugeot rather than Renault !

[NightFlyer]

Only a guess here, but I'm thinking that he underlined 'Renault' because DeLorean obtained the PRV via Renault and the 2.85L used in our cars is a mostly Renault built/engineered/tested variant of the PRV.

[nkemp]

... but I'm thinking that he underlined 'Renault' because DeLorean obtained the PRV via Renault and the 2.85L used in our cars is a mostly Renault built/engineered/tested variant of the PRV.

Yes that is why it is underlined. The Volvo version has a bad reputation. Not sure about the Peugeot version. The Renault version seems to be a good choice. Trouble is how to indicate its heritage with very few words. The underline has come and gone in various versions.


-2.85L or 2,849 cc - not 2.85cc ...

Got it ... thanks. My error. I needed a character in that line so I rounded and then accidentally took out the "," replacing it with a ".".


-"DeLorean avoided paying the money by lying, stating that the Irish Republican Army (IRA) controlled the money to pay fees to due the British government." This sentence needs to be fixed, as written, it sounds like DeLorean paid the IRA to perform a hit on the British government.

The original text from Wikipedia is "DeLorean avoided paying the money by lying and stating that the Irish Republican Army (IRA) had control of the money and had placed the money to pay fees to the British government."

I didn't like the wording (a little convoluted) and needed to tighten it a bit. I'll work on it to see what I can do. There have been a number of conspiracy theorys but none where DeLorean was going after the British Government :smile:

Yes, the drug portion is a bit long the question is how to tell the whole story and make it short. It is a key part of the car's/company's legacy and part that most people seem to recall yet don't know the story. Many folks have asked if he is still in jail. I'll take a look to see what can be omitted. Too often folks assume that he was guilty and found a loophole on how to get off. His book "DeLorean" tells a different story.

Keep the comments coming. For the most part I learned to drop "pride of authorship" years ago and comments usually make the writing stronger. No guarantee that I can fix it but I can try.

Nick

[Citizen]

Good detailed info on the car. But, WAY too heavy on the drug thing. It sounds you like you immediately go into drug defense mode, which is like admitting that the reader already believes JZD was guilty.

If I were writing it, I'd simply say "DeLorean was charged with drug trafficking back in 19?? but was acquitted of all charges." Nuff said.

Thomas

...

[NightFlyer]

The original text from Wikipedia is "DeLorean avoided paying the money by lying and stating that the Irish Republican Army (IRA) had control of the money and had placed the money to pay fees to the British government."

I didn't like the wording (a little convoluted) and needed to tighten it a bit. I'll work on it to see what I can do. There have been a number of conspiracy theorys but none where DeLorean was going after the British Government :smile:

The Wikipedia entry on this makes no sense. Who ever uploaded that to Wikipedia doesn't know what they're talking about (or it is merely a very badly written sentence), as the IRA NEVER would have given a cent under their control to the British government. Most of the IRA's money was used to purchase guns, ammunition, and explosives.

Remember, the IRA was primarily fighting against British monarchical control of Northern Ireland - they wanted the British out so that Northern Ireland could realize sovereignty and practice religious freedom, much in the same way that our fore fathers pushed the British out of the American colonies. I know, as I was previously an active and supporting member of the Sinn Féin.

All you need is the following: "DeLorean avoided paying the money by lying and stating that the Irish Republican Army (IRA) had control of the money."

The rest can be dropped as it's extremely inaccurate anyhow.

[nkemp]

The Wikipedia entry on this makes no sense. Who ever uploaded that to Wikipedia doesn't know what they're talking about ...

Read the book "DeLorean" written by John DeLorean and you'll see why the Wikipedia says what it says. The Wikipedia closely tracks what John wrote.


ALSO .. the drug section is in rewrite and is shorter. Details to follow.

[NightFlyer]

Read the book "DeLorean" written by John DeLorean and you'll see why the Wikipedia says what it says. The Wikipedia closely tracks what John wrote.


ALSO .. the drug section is in rewrite and is shorter. Details to follow.

Yeah, I've read the book, and DeLorean wasn't that bad of a liar to think that anyone in their right mind would've believed that the IRA would have paid fees to the British government with money under their control - NEVER HAPPENED.

As I recall (it was a while ago that I read the book), DeLorean's lie was double tiered - the operational cash flow of the business was tied up as the company had 1) just made a size-able interest payment to the British government, and 2) the remainder was under the control of the IRA, which is why DeLorean didn't have the cash to tender to the so-called 'investors.'

[pezzonovante88]

Nicely done.

Perhaps a brief mentioning of the DeLorean's cost back in 1981 versus the cost of one of it's closest rivals would be worth adding (for a point of reference).

Also, as previously mentioned, the drug history bit may be a bit long....

Keep it up!

[nkemp]

Here is the latest version. 21708

The drug section, which also describes why the company went into foreclosure, is much shorter and a couple other sections are added.


Perhaps a brief mentioning of the DeLorean's cost back in 1981 versus the cost of one of it's closest rivals

I like it. Does anyone have some pricing comparisons handy?

I'll take out the dealer accessories words and replace with a few competitor's pricing (it will be tight).

BTW ... my goal is not to figure out what really happened but to communicate from existing sources. Many secrets went to the grave...which is always good for conspiracy theory development.

OOOOPS... the top got chopped.

[NightFlyer]

I like it. Does anyone have some pricing comparisons handy?

http://www.caranddriver.com/comparisons/de-lorean-vs-chevy-corvette-datsun-280-zx-ferrari-308gts-porsche-911-comparison-test

"With prices ranging from $17,500 to $56,650, the De Lorean's $25,600 fits right in the middle."

Chevrolet Corvette - $17,500
Datsun 280-ZX Turbo - $18,000
Porsche 911SC - $29,990
Ferrari 308GTSi - $56,650

[nkemp]

Here it is with competitive car pricing: 21709

Also the top graphic is fixed... but not sure how well it still folds into "fours".

[Dangermouse]

Looks good.

Proof reading note - first line of the drugs part - you should use Hoffman's full name as this is the first time he is mentioned - I know it was in the part you cut out ;)

[JohnZ]

Yes that is why it is underlined. The Volvo version has a bad reputation. Not sure about the Peugeot version. The Renault version seems to be a good choice. Trouble is how to indicate its heritage with very few words. The underline has come and gone in various versions.

You're right! I just confused Peugeot with Renault but I guessed you underlined it for that reason! It comes with the Renault gearbox too, so Renault is the word to underline!

[nkemp]

Looks good.

Proof reading note - first line of the drugs part - you should use Hoffman's full name as this is the first time he is mentioned - I know it was in the part you cut out ;)

Fixed. When I added "James" it pushed onto the second page. I took out an extra space after a period and it came back to one page.

[Lenny]

Nick,
I get the "Heaviest car ever made" comment a lot how about putting the weights of the cars next to the price?

[refugeefromcalif]

This looks Great Nick!

Just a couple things though...

I know I must be wrong, (I often am), but shouldn't the header say, "DeLorean Motor Cars LTD?"
That's what's on my door frame VIN plate and my owners manual.

http://dmctalk.org/attachment.php?attachmentid=21713&d=1378063578

From what I understand, that's the name of the Original company, while it's now know as, "DeLorean Motor Company."
I was just wondering if your header reflected the Old, or the New company?

I was also wondering how accurate "6,500 still exist", is. Should that read, "Approx. 6,xxx still exist?"
Another thing I end up being asked is, "How many are still on the road?" A bit different number then how many still exist. I don't have a Clue what that number is.

Sorry, just wanted to add my .02

George

[nkemp]

.... shouldn't the header say, "DeLorean Motor Cars LTD?"
That's what's on my door frame VIN plate and my owners manual.

In DeLorean's book, DeLorean he says he started the "DeLorean Motor Company" in 1975. Then he created the DeLorean Manufacturing Company which was responsible for manufacturing the cars. He indicates he started a number of other companies which was "standard practice". My bet is that DeLorean Motor Company was the top/parent company and "DeLorean Motor Cars LTD" was one of the companies within the company.




I was also wondering how accurate "6,500 still exist", is. Should that read, "Approx. 6,xxx still exist?" ... I end up being asked is, "How many are still on the road?" ...

Not sure of the accuracy. But space is limited relative to adding the word "approx". Same for how many on the road. I don't have a number or much room left to add. Something else would need to come out.

[nkemp]

Nick,
I get the "Heaviest car ever made" comment a lot how about putting the weights of the cars next to the price?

The DeLorean's weight is listed in the first column of car data as is bhp to weight ratio. I can look at adding weights.

[nkemp]

Some of the comments are leading towards a table that compares various factors such as cost, weight and then things like HP, zero-60, top speed, breaking, etc. That might fit but only if the line spacing is tightened up. Trouble is that less "white space" does not necessarily improve the layout. I'll experiment.

[nkemp]

I added a comparison table and edited some text. Also, the line spacing is tighter (but it does not seem too tight).

Here is version 3. What do you think?21727

[Dangermouse]

Personally I would leave off the last three columns as it just underlines what Mr know-it-all thinks; that it is slow.

I think the HP and weight columns are good as it demonstrates that 130Hp was not all that far adrift of other cars in that era and it is almost the lightest. Give the readers the impression that it may not be as slow as they had heard.

I would also suggest putting something like "1981 Sports Cars" in the white box above the 5 cars names.

Still looking good though :)

[Jonathan]

Looks nice. As an idea, you might want to orient it landscape to see how well things fit. I was thinking perhaps with the DMC and car graphic along the top (in landscape), you might be able to put the specs/details beside it on the right? Such that at the lower edge of the graphic and specs list, the page then goes into 3 or 4 columns of the write-up stuff. Or if you want the comparison chart to garner attention, put it centred in that lower section and write the paragraphs around it.

I know when I'm at cars shows, it's not often people stop to do a lot of reading. Maybe one or two people per show, tops. Most glance quickly only at the highlights (like elsewhere in life). I would try to simplify the amount of text such that it doesn't look so daunting. Compare how intimidating 800 pages of solid Tom Clancy novel looks when beside something with a picture or two, some bullet form specs and a bit of text.

I know when I read posts on the forum, it is much easier to get through the brief ones. Many of my own are too long winded to get through easily... but keeping it simple comes naturally to some and not so much to others. I don't think I've written a short version of anything in my life, lol :)

Good work!

[nkemp]

...I know when I'm at cars shows, it's not often people stop to do a lot of reading. Maybe one or two people per show, tops. Most glance quickly only at the highlights (like elsewhere in life). I would try to simplify the amount of text such that it doesn't look so daunting.

This sounds like an opportunity to create a "placard" or "fact sheet" that displays with the car for passer-byes to read. I think that is a good idea and worth developing. The current brochure is meant more as a handout.

[jwrayth]

My bet is that DeLorean Motor Company was the top/parent company and "DeLorean Motor Cars LTD" was one of the companies within the company.

DeLorean Motor Cars Ltd was the company based in Dunmurry actually manufacturing the cars, where as the DeLorean Motor Company was the parent/top-level company based within the USA.

[nkemp]

Here is version 4 of the brochure. Thoughts?

21730

[thirdmanj]

Here is version 4 of the brochure. Thoughts?

21730

Looks pretty good man. The "DMC Today" part could be altered. The way it's worded now, I can see it perpetuating the notion that DMCH can make new cars. I realize "new" is quoted, and because I know what you know, I get it, but Joe reading the brochure won't. Also, that bit about JZD's "imprisonment" is a bit misleading. He did spend a few days "imprisoned" as it were, but not because he was serving a sentence or anything. Perhaps I'm being too critical?
Seriously, it's looking good man. This is a great idea.

[nkemp]

that bit about JZD's "imprisonment"

Imprisonment has been substituted with "legal distractions ".


The "DMC Today" part could be altered. The way it's worded now, I can see it perpetuating the notion that DMCH can make new cars. I realize "new" is quoted, and because I know what you know, I get it, but Joe reading the brochure won't.

How about it saying:

DMC TODAY
Today’s DeLorean Motor Company, Huston TX, has no ties
to DeLorean’s DMC and owns the remaining parts surplus.
DMC franchises service centers, makes new parts and
builds “new” DeLoreans from old VIN’s, using new and original parts.

[nkemp]

AND ... I just want to say thanks to everyone for the input, compliments and encouragement. Your inputs have made it better!

Nick

[thirdmanj]

Imprisonment has been substituted with "legal distractions ".



How about it saying:

DMC TODAY
Today’s DeLorean Motor Company, Huston TX, has no ties
to DeLorean’s DMC and owns the remaining parts surplus.
DMC franchises service centers, makes new parts and
builds “new” DeLoreans from old VIN’s, using new and original parts.

Perfect. This truly is awesome. When you're done, I'll gladly get in on this.

[Dangermouse]

* Houston

;)

[nkemp]

* Houston

;)


Good one! I get too used to the red squiggly. And best of all the "o" fit and did not push the text to the next page :smile:

[jawn101]

Love where this is going. Can't wait to see the next version!

[DMC5180]

Good one! I get too used to the red squiggly. And best of all the "o" fit and did not push the text to the next page :smile:

Humble,TX. (Houston) We don't refer too DMCMW Chicago, IL. But rather DMCMW Crystal lake, IL. (Chicago) (area ref)

I understand the character fitment issue though.

My $0.10 (inflation):biggrin:

[nkemp]

Quite often the surrounding communities get referred to as main community. For example, businesses in Eden Prairie MN can be referred to as Minneapolis MN even though they are not in Minneapolis.

Maybe I can drop the city designation and just refer to TX.

Or maybe I can get a reading from one of the folks at DMCH.

[nkemp]

New & Improved... Version 5 21735

There are now 3 pages:
PAGE1 - As before. A document designed as a flyer or brochure. remember that the back side can be printed with your local group's info & schedule
PAGE2 - New. Designed to be positioned in a car window, on a placard or similar. Easier to read by passerby's.
PAGE3 - New. Instructions. Nothing to exciting here but there for future usage

Since page 2 uses larger font size and a bulleted format, the table at the bottom does not fit. It is a shame to have lost that and I'll see what I can do.

Thoughts?????

Nick

[DMC5180]

Perhaps a One line statement in there someplace. You get the question a lot is John living?

John Z Delorean (Jan 6 1925 - March 19 2005) age 80

[NightFlyer]

Perhaps a One line statement in there someplace. You get the question a lot is John living?

John Z Delorean (Jan 6 1925 - March 19 2005) age 80

I had three people today tell me that he committed suicide - and yes, I promptly corrected them.

[dustybarn]

I particularly like the weight/bhp chart. I had one gentleman (who, fortunately, was a car guy) ask me, "Are they heavy? I'd always heard they're heavy". When I explained that they're a little over 2700, he said, "Hell, that's not heavy! A 280Z weighs that much!"

[nkemp]

Final version? I think this is close to being declared cooked & ready to serve. If anyone sees any typos, let me know. If something major jumps out at you let me know. If there are any nits, let me know ... and I might be able to do something.

Here is the current version with 4 pages: 21742

By creating multiple versions in one document the user can choose what works best for them.

PAGE1 - A document designed as a flyer or brochure to be handed out, mailed, etc. Remember that the back side can be printed with your local group's info & schedule
PAGE2 - Designed to be positioned in a car window, on a placard or similar. Easier to read by passerby's.
PAGE3 - New. A reformatted version of page 2. Now includes car comparison table and less textual info
PAGE4 - Instructions. Nothing to exciting here but there for future usage

[nkemp]

Fixed some typos: 21746

[jawn101]

Fixed some typos: 21746

This is looking great, Nick. I can't wait to get the finalized version printed out for the next show.

[dustybarn]

Wow - that's really good and is really comprehensive. I had created a much simpler flyer that only covers the direct technical aspects of the car, and intentionally ignores the surrounding social issues:

21759

(This is a .jpg capture - the original file was created in Microsoft Publisher. I can supply the original if anyone is interested)

[Tillsy]

Fantastic, clearly you've put a substantial amount of work into this. I know all too well how time consuming it can be to perfect this kind of thing.

Can't help notice though, page three says 6,500+ DeLoreans are "still running" - isn't the figure of ~6,500 how many are known to still exist, but actual running figure is far lower (from memory I've read a figure of ~3,000 around here somewhere).

[nkemp]

I can supply the original if anyone is interested)

My plan is to make the document available to anyone who want to use it. If others create documents I think that would be great if they want to share. I envision a folder with multiple documents and users can choose what they like.


This is looking great, Nick. I can't wait to get the finalized version printed out for the next show.
Thanks ... And hopefully later today.


Fantastic, clearly you've put a substantial amount of work into this. I know all too well how time consuming it can be to perfect this kind of thing.

Perfecting it is the hard part for me. At some point I realize that I'm "gilding the lily" or using the DeLorean metaphor "graining the SS".


Can't help notice though, page three says 6,500+ DeLoreans are "still running" - isn't the figure of ~6,500 how many are known to still exist, but actual running figure is far lower (from memory I've read a figure of ~3,000 around here somewhere).

I've not ever hear a good number and will soften it a bit

Nick

[nkemp]

Released. Here is the released version: 21760

A copy will also be stored in the Yahoo Groups DMCNews folder.

BTW ... If you have an idea to improve it, let me know. FWIW I have an idea noodling around my brain that I may work on. Also a color version might be nice.

Go forth and use it. If you would, comment back here when you have used it and the response (if the response is bad... lie).

Thanks to everyone who helped make it better!

Nick Kemp

Edit:
One of the additions I have been thinking about is a FAQ Answers page. You know,answers to all the silly questions we get:
- Nothing unusual happens at 88mph
- No, I did not find any cocaine in this car
- It feels just like your SS kitchen sink
- The car never came with a Ford engine
- John was not sent to prison for cocaine trafficking. He was found not-guilty of all charges due to entrapment (and coercion)
- John did not commit suicide, he died of a stroke in 2005 at age 80
- Marty will be right back
- I cannot tell you who will win the Superbowl this year
- No, it does not fly
- I left my Mr Fusion fusion device at home for safety reasons

Others???

[topcop66]

Wow...guess I am the only one (after 5 pages worth) who would suggest omitting the BTTF material. Yeah, I know, it is part of the cars history and made the car more recognizable than if the movie hadn't been made. Just trying to stop encouraging the asinine responses/comments from what I affectionately have come to call "Backkies" (kinda like a Trekkie). Other than that I think it is a wonderful piece that has been put together through your efforts and that of our community.
Thanks for the time and effort !!!

[SamHill]

At least in the United States periods and commas are usually within the quotation marks.

http://grammartips.homestead.com/inside.html

[Jonathan]

Fantastic, clearly you've put a substantial amount of work into this. I know all too well how time consuming it can be to perfect this kind of thing.


Perfecting it is the hard part for me. At some point I realize that I'm "gilding the lily" or using the DeLorean metaphor "graining the SS".

Owning a DeLorean while being a perfectionist has been the biggest challenge for me over the last 6+ years. There is no limit to how consuming this hobby can be unless you find out where your "good enough" point is.

[nkemp]

At least in the United States periods and commas are usually within the quotation marks.

I think the correct way of saying that is..."In the United States, periods and commas go inside quotation marks regardless of logic." ;) Much of the rest of the English speaking (writing) world uses a more logical approach. I suspect we'll switch to their logic when we switch to metric.

Thanks for letting me know and I can easily fix that. Grammer help is always appreciated. When I did a lot of marketing writing I always had tech editors to help... and help they did.

[nkemp]

At least in the United States periods and commas are usually within the quotation marks.

This "final version" has the punctuation inside the quotes: 21764

[SamHill]

Grammer help

Oh, and by the way... oh, nevermind.

Nice job and great design. Regarding the acquittal, I don't agree with presenting only JZD's side, but that's just me.

The business with him being threatened, with what he says his lawyer told him (triple hearsay!) really comes from only one person, and that is JZD himself. The point of the exercise is to give the general public the Joe Friday account. In regard to the narcotics charges, all that needs to be said there is that it is objectively wrong for the government to tempt someone in dire straits to engage in criminal behavior. That in itself might be good enough for a successful defense. As for the legends, they are fun, but they belong out in the field with the Fairie Tree... which, by the way, is also worth putting in.

[nkemp]

PBS is airing a BBC show called "Modern Spies". The 4/09/2012 episode discussed undercover sting operations, what they can and cannot do and who/types they use as the agents. It reminded me of the DeLorean drug operation except for some the story didn't turn out so well. Some things never change.