The world's worst pick up lines

[Kenny_Z]

Ones I have personally used on three separate girls:

Me: "Would you like to go*walk into a locked door you thought was open* Rebounding off and falling to the floor is optional.
Her: "..." *walks away*
Me: "Ouch"

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Me: "Would you like to go out sometime?"
Her: "I was afraid you were going to say that."
Me: "Ouch..."

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Me: "Would you like to go out sometime?"
She begins laughing...a lot.
Me: "Ouch."

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All things considered, I preferred the door incident.

[Roman Legion]

I have an entire book of failures and this chapter is long, here are a few..

Me: You wouldn't be interested in going to the prom with me, would you?
Her: Maybe *Turns around and walks away*
Me: *Standing there in confusion after she walked away..* "What the F**k just happened?

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Me: Would you like to go out sometime?
Her: Ewww *walks away*
Me: (Lets not say this here )

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Me: I don't suppose you would like to go out sometime, would you?
Her: You're not my type..
Me: Well, what is your type?
Her: Not you..

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*The time I tried a different approach*

Me: I know this is a bit direct, but would you like to go out this weekend?
Her: I'm sorry, I have plans..
Me: Alright, I entirely understand.. How about next weekend?
Her: No, that won't work either..
Me: Okay, when is a good time for you, my schedule is always open..
Her: Bye.. *walked away*

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*Rant? warning*

On what I can guess is a positive note, I have only been laughed at a few times.. Suprised myself that I haven't been laughed at more. I could not even pick up girls in my Mustang.. It was shiny and everything! (As always, due to being a bit OCD) I guess women hate the Nerdy grunge guys or something? I have officially stopped looking as I am grew tired of trying when I knew the result. I don't wear trendy clothes, I just wear what I have or what is cheap.. "I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may." - Tyler Durden (Fight Club)

[kajcienski]

More of a personal observation: I soon realized after buying my DeLorean that I had just bought a giant "dude magnet" (of course I still LOVE my car...). However when a girl is into it, they seem to be REALLY into it so that's good news... I might borrow a friend's puppy and try to combine the two. Deadly combo? Wait, I'm engaged.

[Ralph]

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"





-I'm sorry, I swear I've never used this one.

[Dracula]

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"





-I'm sorry, I swear I've never used this one.

That reminds me of another one:

"I got a bed in my basement fit for two. I got some chloroform and handcuffs; just for you."

[Kenny_Z]

Girls seem to love my Mustang but the problem is they love "only" the Mustang. They want to see the car, sit in the car, drive the car (hell no), or sit on the car (also hell no). But that is the extent of it.

The girl that said "I was afraid you were going to say that." had just earlier that day said that she loved the smell of old classic cars while she was sitting in the car.

I think that's why I decided to buy so many cars. They are cheaper than females, even the Delorean is a bargain compared to what a relationship costs. Plus I can have as many cars as I want in my driveway without them getting jealous or slapping me

[Dracula]

Girls seem to love my Mustang but the problem is they love "only" the Mustang. They want to see the car, sit in the car, drive the car (hell no), or sit on the car (also hell no). But that is the extent of it.

The girl that said "I was afraid you were going to say that." had just earlier that day said that she loved the smell of old classic cars while she was sitting in the car.

I think that's why I decided to buy so many cars. They are cheaper than females, even the Delorean is a bargain compared to what a relationship costs. Plus I can have as many cars as I want in my driveway without them getting jealous or slapping me

You've figured out my secret: give up on relationships and buy cars. I can afford 9 cars (1977 Chrysler New Yorker not listed in my signature) instead of ONE woman; much less nine.

[Canon20DFan]

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

[Timeless]

You've figured out my secret: give up on relationships and buy cars. I can afford 9 cars (1977 Chrysler New Yorker not listed in my signature) instead of ONE woman; much less nine.

Exactly!

[anywhen]

What your zodiac is?